Category Archives: Inspirations

Why I Held My Baby

I have things I should be doing. Things that NEED to get done. Things I have put off for far too long already.
Painting at the new house. Dishes. Laundry. Cleaning. Paying bills.

Instead, I am holding my sleeping four month old because he has been sick and has a hard time breathing (due only to a stuffy nose) while flat on his back. I could put him in the swing. I could put him in the bouncy seat. I could lay him down. But I won’t. I love him. I am busy treasuring this moment. Appreciating the fact that my two year old is being quiet so I can snuggle the baby.

He will only be little once. He will only be my baby once. Already he is pushing my snuggles away, so, this time, I will sit in a rocking chair and simply hold my sleeping baby.

Abu’s Birth Story

Boo was born in eight hours. I was SO calm during labor with her-it wasn’t until transition that I freaked out at all.
I awoke around 6:00 with an urge to pee(nothing new by this point). When I stood up to go to the bathroom my water broke. It wasn’t a huge gush, but I was certainly glad I was on my way to the bathroom anyway! I sat there for awhile and then crawled back in bed and asked Hubbin if he was ready to be a Daddy, because it was happening today. Neither of us could go back to sleep, so I got up and went to take a bath….and there I stayed until 8:15 when the contractions were only three minutes apart and lasting for 30-45 seconds.

We finished packing the hospital bag and I made Hubbin move some furniture around so Boo would have a place to sleep when we came home. Then we headed to the hospital.

Hubbin will tell you we stopped at Walgreens on the way-which is both true and untrue! We did stop at Walgreens, where we got snacks that remained untouched during labor, but it was NOT on the way since we only lived a block away from the hospital and Walgreens is five blocks away.

At the hospital they checked us in….and didn’t believe me that I was truly even having contractions! I had to test myself to see if my water had broken-ha! It totally had! I felt so vindicated because the nurse was treating me as if I was an idiot for even thinking my water had broken. So much so, that she didn’t check me during check in.

We got in a room, got my IV (I was group B strep positive with Boo), and then the nurse checked me…. Good Lord! Talk about some pain! Contractions were nothing until she did that! I was at a four and 90% effaced, so I asked about the tub. The filled it with water and in I went! Ah! But only for awhile, after getting in the tub contractions continued to get longer and stronger and closer together for about an hour, until the nurse came in And told me to let her know right away if I felt the urge to push…..I hadn’t thought about it, but on the very next contraction it was definitely there! I told Hubbin, who told the nurse, and as all of this was happening, I hit transition! Yikes!

I lost it, I had no time to regain control and calm down in between contractions and I started freaking out! Hubbin did his best to calm me, but between that and the nurse telling me she needed to check me, and me not wanting to move or be checked because I knew the tub felt the best, and being checked hurt like hell (sorry, but it did!), I just lost it. They finally convinced me that I could be checked in the tub, so I said fine. She checked and I was at a nine and a half and 100% effaced. And THAT dear friends is when I really lost it!

By this point I had resigned myself to getting the gosh darn epidural because I could NOT, and I mean could NOT recover between contractions. This left me panicky and scared. I decided the epidural would allow me to calm down so I could push the baby out since, you know, I was already through transition! Anyway, I started bawling when she told me where I was, and both Hubbin and the nurse asked what was wrong, I practically yelled, “that means you’re not going to let me get the epidural!” To which the nurse very sweetly responded, “oh sweetie, we will get you the epidural right now.” And she left to go get the anesthesiologist, also known as my hero, aka, the epidural dude!

During the next five minutes they got me out of the tub and up to the bed, NOT my idea of a good time! The epidural dude came in and I calmly endured that process while pretending a super-long needle was not, in fact, going into my spine! Ugh! I still can’t believe I let them do that! But oh! It was totally worth it! Relief came quickly, and I was able to calm down and regain my wits.

I was allowed to labor down for about an hour before I could really feel baby moving down low with each contraction. They got Dr Revoal and I started pushing…and pushing…and pushing, for an hour and fifteen minutes. With every push I could feel Boo moving lower, getting closer to coming out, but it wasn’t painful at all until the very end, but even then it was only a tiny bit. I was allowed to push on the squatting stool until they thought she was ready to come out. I still regret not demanding being allowed to stay up there on that thing for the birth! I think I wouldn’t have torn if I had…oh well, live and learn.

I pushed, and then she was crowning, I was so focused, so calm, working so hard, and Hubbin was talking and laughing with the Dr. I pushed and then she was here. 1:56 PM. All slimy and wet, and covered in goo, and on top of me. My very first thought was, “this is mine.” Immediately followed with, “this is mine! How do I take care of her?!”

They let me hold her and love on her and talk to her for awhile (during which time I was given a local, and stitched up-only a few stitches and a second degree tear. You ladies with worse are my hero! I don’t know how you did it!) and then they asked if they could weigh her, so they weighed and measured and vitamins K gooped her eyes before giving her back. 5lbs 9oz, 19.5 inches long. We let family know she was here!

Hubbin held her on the way back to me, and then we took our first family photos. I looked aweful! I looked so tired. But I treasure those pictures because they were our first family pictures.

I asked to pee. The nurse said she would be right back because they needed two people to help me stand the first time….she came back an hour later! I asked to pee again, and was told the same thing, she let and came back….and hour later! By this time I had not only seriously considered just getting up and going myself, but had turned to the edge of the bed and was trying to convince Hubbin to just help me! When she came back She saw this, and apologized-they had had two emergency C-sections and all staff had gone to help. And she let Hubbin help me on the side…..not that I needed help, I was totally fine walking, just not to ally fine with the grossness still oozing out of me!

It then took another hour before we were moved to the other section so people could see us and Boo. Our first visitors were Grammy and Grandpa followed closely by a steady stream of aunt, uncles, and cousins! Everyone commented on how tiny she was. We didn’t truly know how tiny she was until the next day….

The next day a steady stream of doctors and nurses visited us…all asking what I had done wrong during pregnancy to have such a low birth weight baby! I was mortified and pissed! I had done nothing wrong! Other than eat a little soft serve ice cream a few times. By the forth Doctor I had had enough of it. It still infuriates me just to think about it!

The following day, at 2:15, we headed home a family of three, and the real adventure began!

A new Way

Colossians 3:1-21 The Message

1-2 So if you’re serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don’t shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that’s where the action is. See things from hisperspective.

3-4 Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you’ll show up, too—the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ.

5-8 And that means killing off everything connected with that way of death: sexual promiscuity, impurity, lust, doing whatever you feel like whenever you feel like it, and grabbing whatever attracts your fancy. That’s a life shaped by things and feelings instead of by God. It’s because of this kind of thing that God is about to explode in anger. It wasn’t long ago that you were doing all that stuff and not knowing any better. But you know better now, so make sure it’s all gone for good: bad temper, irritability, meanness, profanity, dirty talk.

9-11 Don’t lie to one another. You’re done with that old life. It’s like a filthy set of ill-fitting clothes you’ve stripped off and put in the fire. Now you’re dressed in a new wardrobe. Every item of your new way of life is custom-made by the Creator, with his label on it. All the old fashions are now obsolete. Words like Jewish and non-Jewish, religious and irreligious, insider and outsider, uncivilized and uncouth, slave and free, mean nothing. From now on everyone is defined by Christ, everyone is included in Christ.

12-14 So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

15-17 Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.

18 Wives, understand and support your husbands by submitting to them in ways that honor the Master.

19 Husbands, go all out in love for your wives. Don’t take advantage of them.

20 Children, do what your parents tell you. This delights the Master no end.

21 Parents, don’t come down too hard on your children or you’ll crush their spirits.




Colossians 3:12-17 New American Standard Bible

12 So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and [k]patience; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. 14 Beyond all these things put on love, which is [l]the perfect bond of unity. 15 Let the peace of Christ [m]rule in your hearts, to which [n]indeed you were called in one body; and [o]be thankful. 16 Let the word of [p]Christ richly dwell within you, [q]with all wisdom teaching and admonishing [r]one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing [s]with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.


Goals-Week 2

Remember that my

My Main Goals for June are:

  • Be a better Wife 
  • Be a better Mother
  • Finish the New House
  • Clean and organize our old house

Last Week’s Goals Were:

  1. Go on one date night with Hubbin this week (should be easy since our anniversary is on Friday!)-plan the childcare.
  2. Work on B’s bedtime routine to help her fall asleep more quickly on her own.
  3. Finish Framing the Master Closet     This was not something I could do on my own (well, i guess I could have had I not been watching B as well, but since I was, this was really Hubbin’s project, and it is as of yet uncomplete.
  4. Get Hubbin to call the plumber and the electrician to schedule times for them to come work on the Master Suite     The Plumber comes on Friday to get everything done with help from Hubbin! The Electrician has not been called yet to my knowledge 
  5. Clean off the table-put everything away, change tablecloth, sweep and mop the dining room floor. Partially done!
  6. Clean the Kitchen-File papers, Put Miscellaneous stuff on the counter away, Clean and put the fryer away, sweep and MOP the floor. This is actually MOSTLY done, but none of the things are COMEPLETE, so I can’t check them off 🙁
  7. Read a chapter in a book every night (either Entreleadership or Boundaries with Kids) I think I read a chapter (or section) four nights this last week

If it is marked off then I did it! If not, there was a note.


Here are my goals for this week:

  1.  Show Hubbin how much I love him in a practical way.
  2. Read B three stories every day.
  3. Get paint samples from the store and onto the wall in the living room with the alternate color, decide on the color, paint the wall. Touch up the ceiling.
  4. Get Hubbin to A) figure out the electrical for the master and B) call the electrician to set up a time for him to come out (next Friday?)
  5. Clean the Dining Room (Sweep, Mop, Change the Tablecloth) and Kitchen (finish the list from last week)
  6. Get Relax & Revive books up to date and sales tax turned in by Friday night.
  7. Read a chapter (or section) of a book every day.
  8. Phone calls to set up appointments: A) Roy Hucke, B) State Farm, C) Jen & Travis, D) Theresa

Goals-Week 1

I have been reading Dave Ramsey’s Enterleadership book recently (fine, I started in in January, got overwhelmed, and just started reading it again a few weeks ago). One of the things he talks about is setting goals (He actually goes into much more detail than that). I have also been reading another blog recently where the author publicly sets goals once a week and then the next week shares how she did on them and sets new goals for the next week. I love it and thought I would give it a go for June! If I like it and it is working well I will continue, if not, I will stop at the end of June. 🙂

My Main Goals for June are:

  • Be a better Wife 
  • Be a better Mother
  • Finish the New House
  • Clean and organize our old house

With that in mind, here are my goals this week:

  1. Go on one date night with Hubbin this week (should be easy since our anniversary is on Friday!)-plan the childcare.
  2. Work on B’s bedtime routine to help her fall asleep more quickly on her own.
  3. Finish Framing the Master Closet
  4. Get Hubbin to call the plumber and the electrician to schedule times for them to come work on the Master Suite
  5. Clean off the table-put everything away, change tablecloth, sweep and mop the dining room floor.
  6. Clean the Kitchen-File papers, Put Miscellaneous stuff on the counter away, Clean and put the fryer away, sweep and MOP the floor.
  7. Read a chapter in a book every night (either Entreleadership or Boundaries with Kids)

Until Next time!


I am addicted to cookies. Yes, I LOVE cookies! I love all kinds of cookies, and have only had a few cookies in my entire life that I did not like, besides every hard cookie in existence. I HATE hard cookies, they are such a let down! So, I bring you my single most FAVORITE cookie on the planet. Chocolate Chip Cookies….New York Times Best Seller Cookies… and the same!

Here is the link to the blog I found them on: Cookies.

I half the recipe. There is WAY too much dough for me to make into cookies if I don’t (think 3 hours straight of cookie baking to complete the batch with the original recipe). Also, I add normal semi-sweet chocolate chips. The bittersweet chocolate or the baking chocolate is just not sweet enough for me! I don’t like to have a bitter aftertaste in my mouth after consuming a super-amazing cookie!

Now, go make cookies!

God, what are you preparing me for? What are you teaching me now? Please open my eyes and let me see! I want to know where this journey is taking me. I want to know the syllabus so I know where I am going. I feel so lost. So alone.
This leadership piece you are showing me now feels so foreign. I don’t think I am a leader, but I have been told my whole life that I am one…just not the loud, bossy type of leader…. I guess that’s a good thing, but what kind of leader am I then? There are so many issues with me as a leader….

I need to be better about communicating my heart, expressing the reason why I am doing something, or want someone else to do something. I need to be better at seeing my weaknesses so I can work on them.
I have no one to lead right now except Brooke, but I know she is the most important person I can lead. Thank you for her. She is amazing! She has such a sweet, quiet, peaceful spirit. Thank you, God. She is perfect.

A Moment

Life is filled with moments. And I experienced one just the other day… Aug 20, 2012 to be exact!

My baby girl took her first steps!

That moment seems to be etched in my mind forever-the grin on her face and the smile in my heart…. Those first steps were priceless! She got SO excited that she had FINALLY done it all by herself that she couldn’t walk anymore (not even with help!).