Category Archives: uncategorized

Disappointing bad behavior

The most effective response to bad behavior is to express disappointment. According to independent reviews by Professor Eisenberg and David R. Shaffer, parents raise caring children by expressing disappointment and explaining why the behavior was wrong, how it affected others, and how they can rectify the situation. 

When Brooke hits: how sad! Hitting hurts. That hurt Logan.  How would you like to make him feel better, a hug or a kiss?

Meal plan

Biscuits and jam with peanut butter
Oatmeal with fruit and nuts
Cereal and fruit with German sausage
Eggs and toast
Yogurt and fruit
Pancakes, eggs, bacon

Mac and cheese with chicken and peas

Out for Mike’s birthday
Steak, potatoes, corn
Fish, rice, broccoli
Amish dinner mix
Chicken bacon ranch noodles with peas
Pork chops,

Freezing this week: chicken bacon ranch meal for Kirk and Eileen.


There are SO many wonderful blogs out there….what difference will mine make?
I dont even want to tell friends and family I’m writing a blog….

This can’t be what I am supposed to do to fill me and pour out what I know and learn on this journey….

I want to reach young women, but how? The things I want to write about and share dont pertain to them….

Please God, guide me. Show me. Teach me. Use me. Right where I am. Amen.

Why I Held My Baby

I have things I should be doing. Things that NEED to get done. Things I have put off for far too long already.
Painting at the new house. Dishes. Laundry. Cleaning. Paying bills.

Instead, I am holding my sleeping four month old because he has been sick and has a hard time breathing (due only to a stuffy nose) while flat on his back. I could put him in the swing. I could put him in the bouncy seat. I could lay him down. But I won’t. I love him. I am busy treasuring this moment. Appreciating the fact that my two year old is being quiet so I can snuggle the baby.

He will only be little once. He will only be my baby once. Already he is pushing my snuggles away, so, this time, I will sit in a rocking chair and simply hold my sleeping baby.

Positive Parenting

I feel like such a failure….. I’m so sorry Abu, Mommy loves you so much. I’m sorry I’ve only responded negatively to you the last three months. I don’t want you to think you only do things wrong, and never do anything right. You do! You are a loving, caring, beautiful little girl (on the inside and the out!). I love your smile! I love your hugs! I love the way you pick up on other people’s moods.

Please forgive me for all the times I have yelled at you. I don’t want to yell anymore. I don’t want to fight with you anymore. I have been at the end of my rope for over a week now, I love you, but if am doing a horrible job of showing you that. I want this to be a new beginning, one where I no longer yell, but rather respond with empathy and grace to your behavior. Not to let you get away with things, but to help you learn from your mistakes.

Today, I commit to not yelling at you. I commit to a different style of parenting. I commit to encouraging you. I commit to striving to find the good in all you do while teaching you how to make better choices and learn from your mistakes.

This is why I have been so frustrated with you. This is why I have been so frustrated with parenting. This is why it has felt SO wrong, because it is! The month of February is when it all stops. This is when it all changes. Today. Here. NOW.

Here is to the future!

Worst Day Ever!

It all started when Abu would not take her nap…..she finally fell asleep after getting out of bed and coming to find me (resulting in time outs) 3 times, and being taken through the nap time routine three times….I was exhausted and fell asleep with LoLo. After dinner I fed LoLo and changed his diaper. As I was changing hi diaper I realized how quiet Abu was…..uh oh! She had pooped in her diaper and then proceeded to put her fingers in it and smear the poop all over the couch where I feed LoLo and the pillow I use as a back support! Disgusting! I was so upset I couldn’t even say anything other than, “don’t touch me! That’s gross! That’s disgusting! Don’t touch anything!” I promptly took her to the tub and cleaned the disgusting mess up while she was in there….it was like my worst nightmare!
I shared the story with my Mother in Law today and she just laughed and said it would probably happen again! NOT what I wanted to hear! Ugh! I pray it NEVER happens again!

What is Christmas?

In trying to explain Christmas to my two year old I have discovered even more disparity in the way it is celebrated than I ever thought possible.

What is the connection between giving gifts to one another and the birth of Jesus?

What is the connection between a Christmas tree and the birth of Jesus?

What is the connection between the snowmen and the birth of Jesus?

Or the Christmas lights?

Or all the baked goods?

How do I explain this disparity to my kids? Should we even be doing some of the things we do?

Abu’s Birth Story

Boo was born in eight hours. I was SO calm during labor with her-it wasn’t until transition that I freaked out at all.
I awoke around 6:00 with an urge to pee(nothing new by this point). When I stood up to go to the bathroom my water broke. It wasn’t a huge gush, but I was certainly glad I was on my way to the bathroom anyway! I sat there for awhile and then crawled back in bed and asked Hubbin if he was ready to be a Daddy, because it was happening today. Neither of us could go back to sleep, so I got up and went to take a bath….and there I stayed until 8:15 when the contractions were only three minutes apart and lasting for 30-45 seconds.

We finished packing the hospital bag and I made Hubbin move some furniture around so Boo would have a place to sleep when we came home. Then we headed to the hospital.

Hubbin will tell you we stopped at Walgreens on the way-which is both true and untrue! We did stop at Walgreens, where we got snacks that remained untouched during labor, but it was NOT on the way since we only lived a block away from the hospital and Walgreens is five blocks away.

At the hospital they checked us in….and didn’t believe me that I was truly even having contractions! I had to test myself to see if my water had broken-ha! It totally had! I felt so vindicated because the nurse was treating me as if I was an idiot for even thinking my water had broken. So much so, that she didn’t check me during check in.

We got in a room, got my IV (I was group B strep positive with Boo), and then the nurse checked me…. Good Lord! Talk about some pain! Contractions were nothing until she did that! I was at a four and 90% effaced, so I asked about the tub. The filled it with water and in I went! Ah! But only for awhile, after getting in the tub contractions continued to get longer and stronger and closer together for about an hour, until the nurse came in And told me to let her know right away if I felt the urge to push…..I hadn’t thought about it, but on the very next contraction it was definitely there! I told Hubbin, who told the nurse, and as all of this was happening, I hit transition! Yikes!

I lost it, I had no time to regain control and calm down in between contractions and I started freaking out! Hubbin did his best to calm me, but between that and the nurse telling me she needed to check me, and me not wanting to move or be checked because I knew the tub felt the best, and being checked hurt like hell (sorry, but it did!), I just lost it. They finally convinced me that I could be checked in the tub, so I said fine. She checked and I was at a nine and a half and 100% effaced. And THAT dear friends is when I really lost it!

By this point I had resigned myself to getting the gosh darn epidural because I could NOT, and I mean could NOT recover between contractions. This left me panicky and scared. I decided the epidural would allow me to calm down so I could push the baby out since, you know, I was already through transition! Anyway, I started bawling when she told me where I was, and both Hubbin and the nurse asked what was wrong, I practically yelled, “that means you’re not going to let me get the epidural!” To which the nurse very sweetly responded, “oh sweetie, we will get you the epidural right now.” And she left to go get the anesthesiologist, also known as my hero, aka, the epidural dude!

During the next five minutes they got me out of the tub and up to the bed, NOT my idea of a good time! The epidural dude came in and I calmly endured that process while pretending a super-long needle was not, in fact, going into my spine! Ugh! I still can’t believe I let them do that! But oh! It was totally worth it! Relief came quickly, and I was able to calm down and regain my wits.

I was allowed to labor down for about an hour before I could really feel baby moving down low with each contraction. They got Dr Revoal and I started pushing…and pushing…and pushing, for an hour and fifteen minutes. With every push I could feel Boo moving lower, getting closer to coming out, but it wasn’t painful at all until the very end, but even then it was only a tiny bit. I was allowed to push on the squatting stool until they thought she was ready to come out. I still regret not demanding being allowed to stay up there on that thing for the birth! I think I wouldn’t have torn if I had…oh well, live and learn.

I pushed, and then she was crowning, I was so focused, so calm, working so hard, and Hubbin was talking and laughing with the Dr. I pushed and then she was here. 1:56 PM. All slimy and wet, and covered in goo, and on top of me. My very first thought was, “this is mine.” Immediately followed with, “this is mine! How do I take care of her?!”

They let me hold her and love on her and talk to her for awhile (during which time I was given a local, and stitched up-only a few stitches and a second degree tear. You ladies with worse are my hero! I don’t know how you did it!) and then they asked if they could weigh her, so they weighed and measured and vitamins K gooped her eyes before giving her back. 5lbs 9oz, 19.5 inches long. We let family know she was here!

Hubbin held her on the way back to me, and then we took our first family photos. I looked aweful! I looked so tired. But I treasure those pictures because they were our first family pictures.

I asked to pee. The nurse said she would be right back because they needed two people to help me stand the first time….she came back an hour later! I asked to pee again, and was told the same thing, she let and came back….and hour later! By this time I had not only seriously considered just getting up and going myself, but had turned to the edge of the bed and was trying to convince Hubbin to just help me! When she came back She saw this, and apologized-they had had two emergency C-sections and all staff had gone to help. And she let Hubbin help me on the side…..not that I needed help, I was totally fine walking, just not to ally fine with the grossness still oozing out of me!

It then took another hour before we were moved to the other section so people could see us and Boo. Our first visitors were Grammy and Grandpa followed closely by a steady stream of aunt, uncles, and cousins! Everyone commented on how tiny she was. We didn’t truly know how tiny she was until the next day….

The next day a steady stream of doctors and nurses visited us…all asking what I had done wrong during pregnancy to have such a low birth weight baby! I was mortified and pissed! I had done nothing wrong! Other than eat a little soft serve ice cream a few times. By the forth Doctor I had had enough of it. It still infuriates me just to think about it!

The following day, at 2:15, we headed home a family of three, and the real adventure began!