Stories From an Evening in the WARD!

I went down to visit Mom last night. Here is just a few of our conversations:

1) Via text message:
Me: “Be afraid, be very afraid. I am almost there!”
Mom: “No no not that!”
Me: “Yes! Yes! It is coming!”
Mom: “Going to hide”
Me: “ Coming to find you now…hehe”
Then I got there and instead of hiding she tried to scare me by sticking her face right next to the door when I opened it!

2) The neck story
We worked on her scrapbook until we ran out of pages, then she finds this catalog and proceeds to tell me this story…
Mom: “That nurse says she thinks I would look good with a short, blonde, bob (the haircut). But I told her I have this problem. I’ve had it my whole life! I’m tall and skinny, although not as skinny as I once was. And I have a LONG neck and a teeny tiny little head! When I was student teaching one of the students said I look like a turtle!
Me: “And you are scarred for life by this aren’t you? Do you need me to call the therapist?
Mom: “Oh shut up!”
Me: “Or the Psychologist who said he would come and visit you?”
Mom: “Oh he was here yesterday!”
Me: “Oh good. Next time be sure to discuss this turtle story.”
Mom: “Oh just help me pick out a wig!”
At which point I took that magazine and started holding it up so I could see what the wigs would look like on Mom…I don’t think she appreciated this though! lol

3) Courtney’s Birthday Gift
Shane and Courtney came a bit later…after dinner with her Mom because it was her Birthday (Happy Birthday again, by the way!).
Mom: “So Courtney, what did you get for your birthday?”
Courtney: “A crotch rocket!!!!!”
Mom: (gasping) “oh, uh, you didn’t waste any time answering that one! Did you get anything ELSE for your birthday?”
Courtney: “My brother painted a picture and then Shane went and visited him and bought it from him and gave it to me.”
Mom: “Now that’s a nice birthday gift.”
Courtney: “That’s the sentimental gift.”
Me: “So did you want a crotch rocket?”
At this point I’m pretty sure I should have been ROFLOL! Mom was in SHOCK that Shane had bought her a crotch rocket and that she didn’t answer with the picture story right away. Amazing! lol

4) The neck story revisited
When Shane and Courtney showed up I told Mom she should ask Courtney’s opinion of the bob wig. She proceeded to tell the same turtle story and then got up to go to the bathroom while Shane and Courtney looked
While she was in the bathroom:
Courtney: “Long necks aren’t bad, I have a long neck (as she holds her neck with her hands) they are good. Models have long necks!”
Me: “You need to tell her that when she comes back out here.”
Courtney: “Ok, I will.”
Mom returns from the bathroom:
Shane: (pointing to a gray wig) “I think you should get this one!”
Mom: “You’re just saying that because its gray!”
Shane: (laughs) “So?”
Courtney: “Lynn, long necks aren’t bad. Models have long necks!”
Mom: (feeling her neck) “Oh! Well, if models have long necks…”

Now, since I know Mom will read this I can’t say what else this story has inspired, but it is good!

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